my matinee date

oh you know.. just hanging out with some ceee-yuute boys today

so what if they're only 17 years old?

pink eyed Pattinson

For some reason my cross streets Orchard and Broome are prime filming location for several shows and movies. Ps I Love You, Law & Order, How to Make it in America have all been filmed outside my doorsteps. The other day I noticed signs for Date Night to be filmed. I walked out my door headed to work yesterday morning and my street was lined with trailers, tents, peeps with walkie talkies, and food tables.I feel awkward walking through sets but secretly think to myself I will probably be discovered RIGHT NOW and they'll put me in a film! But of course that has yet to happen.

I had a rough day yesterday (was diagnosed with PINK eye! sick) and last night on my walk home from dinner with a friend, some guy with a headset on stopped me on the corner and wouldn't let me cross. "That truck is going to drive by and spray water everywhere. You better stand here" he says. Annoyed, I did as I was told. I don't even care who is out there and filming. I just want to get home, I thought.

I walked up my stairs and talked to Laina about how annoying it is to have filming outside. She agreed, "I know! I got off the train and they wouldn't even let me walk on Broome. They made me walk all the way around the block. I was SO annoyed" she said. We talked about how we do not care who films and its not a big deal to us. Obviously we've turned into cool New Yorkers who could care less about celeb sightings. Until...

I woke up today with a message from Laina telling me to call her. I called her and she told me that on her walk to the bus she was stopped again by security only because ROBERT PATTINSON was walking into his trailer! Ok, so much for being the cool New Yorker who could care less! I have been obsessively IMDBing both Date Night and Remember Me as they are filming simultaneously on my street for the next couple days. I am regretting not stalking the film set last night because Date Night's cast includes Leighton Meester, Steve Carell, Mila Kunis, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig just to name a few. I am such an idiot... I totally saw them filming and had to act all cool.

My inner fanatic 13 year old girl is freaking out. Since I am not at work today - PINK eye, remember? I took a stalk-walk around the block (with sunglasses on obviously) searching for my love Rob-alicious Pattinson... we will probably fall in love and everyone will know it because I'll put my mark on him by passing along a nice case of pink eye. It will be the bacterial version of Twilight. His eyes will change (literally) because he is so in love with me and can't get enough. hahaha
Try not to be too jealous, ladies.



and btw I am hardly obsessed compared to the girls on these postings.

glad it was a missed connection

To bring anyone who needs it up to speed, Craigslist has a thing called missed connections in the personals section. This is for anyone to post a little note to the stranger who sparked their interest but didn't have the balls or time to ask for a phone number and now they're hoping to reconnect.

I rarely browse these, but I find them highly entertaining. My favorite one I found today is titled dunkin donuts on halsted 4/23 at about 720 - m4w - 18 and it goes a little something like this:

"hey i no u may never see this but iam giving it a shot i was out side of the donut shop and u was going 2 walk in and it was closed and then u went in dunkin donuts and i hled the door open for you wen u was leaving i think ur cute and u have a nice voice hun so if u happen 2 see this email me back with what kida car u was driving so that i kno its you"

ok... wow. Dear Dunkin' Donuts missed connection boy,
I have so many things to say about this I don't even know where to begin. As I visualize your story you're trying to convey I am not exactly sure what happened. The donut shop was closed so she went into Dunkin' Donuts and you "hled" the door open. There is a DD right next door to another donut shop? I suppose that is the least of my problems with this.

More importantly, how do you write this entire thing in one sentence?! Do you really think any girl with a nice voice is going to be interested in someone who says "no" instead of "know"? You almost got it right when you said "kno" at the end. But seriously, how do you completely neglect punctuation in your posting? And thanks for adding the picture of yourself. That really helps all girls no the kind of guys who can't spell and can't punctuate their sentences. I am glad this was a missed connection, kno offense.

New York EasyDates

I get to work this morning and immediately delete my 3 emails from New York EasyDates instructing me to select my matches from speed dating last night. Yep, I went speed dating. Walking into the bar where the event was held I was completely nervous. The nervousness only intensified when I began taking inventory of my arriving future daters. I don't want to date these guys! My friends and I took a shot and got some beers, walked upstairs to the hostess and retrieved our name tags. Surveying the other names among my Jamie D tag were names like Tara, Kerry, Gaby on the girls' side and Ilya, Rishikesh, Amjad on the guys' side. Crap, I can't even pronounce these names.

Each girl had either a table, a portion of the bar, or a section of a bench and the guys rotated around the room every three minutes. Now, I realize that three minutes is NOT a lot of time to talk to someone, but there were definitely times where my three minute dates felt like three torturous hours. In a few instances I wanted to scream out "NEXT!" or ditch my date to get another drink. I sat on my bench and partook in some of the worst conversations I've ever had.

All the daters asked the same questions. "Where are you from? What do you do? What do you do for fun?" This got really old really fast as I was saying the same things over and over again "I'm from Seattle, Washington. I work for an investment bank. I like to explore New York and try new things." I was a broken record so I started to spice it up with "Have you ever had braces? What's your most embarrassing moment? What's your favorite kind of dog?" This made it a little more fun for me, but still it was tiring to have these conversations over and over again maintaining enthusiasm and spunk.

A few cases were particularly bad:

Michael: acne-faced redhead carrying a backpack. His favorite things to do are eat and sleep. He likes Mexican food and he was a math major, of course. This is the visual. He was so incredibly awkward and would kind of sit there avoiding eye contact giving me simple one word answers and uncomfortable head nods. I checked the 'no' box for sure.

Rishikesh: dark skinned Middle Eastern looking guy. I asked him where he was from and he said Kansas City. Hmm.. not really what I meant.

Amjad: Pakistani dude and we spent most of the three minutes working out the phonetics of his name. He gave me an 8 out of 10 on my pronunciation. 'No' fo sho!

Other highlights included one guy telling me the details of his appendicitis and how much he vomited and insisted to his 'ma' that it wasn't just gas pains. Sounds like he lives with Ma. Definitely a no.

Another guy told me about how he got really drunk, puked in his friend's car then stripped off his shirt and ran home screaming "superman!" Nope.

One guy sat down and said right off the bat "go ahead and check the no box now. I can tell you're tall. I'm only 5'9". Tall women like tall men." You can imagine how much fun the rest of the 2 minutes and 45 seconds were. Self proclaimed no.

Someone else told me he was from New Hampshire and I started laughing and said I always wanted to go there as a kid because I loved hamsters and I would remember the state name on my geography test by nicknaming it New Hamster. Seriously... who says stuff like this to strangers? Me apparently. He must've checked no for that.

At the end of the night my little yes or no ballot sheet looked like this all the way down.

body language schmody language

The movie comes out in just a matter of days, the book has been something I've sworn by for years, but now that I really think about it, the entire concept of He's Just Not That Into You has been kind of a waste of my money! Silly self respecting girls like myself have made Greg Behrendt (the book's author) a very rich man for pointing out all the reasons boys don't treat girls right. I mean, haven't I repeatedly learned that for free in all my dating experiences? It doesn't seem right or fair that a MAN could make large amounts of money just by pointing out the things that boys do to make girls sad.

Maybe somehow it's women's faults. Women have become depicted as these horribly desperate people whose biological clocks are controlling their actions, making them creatures of desperation on a testosterone hunt (example: "I better snag a man before I get cellulite and crows feet.") It's a race against the clock that women are constantly fighting: freezing eggs, liposuction, Botox, etc. These things are used to preserve a woman's youth in the hopes that the men they worked so hard to get won't trade in for a newer model. It makes me sick!

Because of the evident desperation, men see women as a dime a dozen--easy to come by and easy to get. Chivalry is dead. We live in the era of one night stands and speed dating. Women's magazines are filled with articles titled "4 recipes that will seduce him," "What he really wants in bed," "Quiz: Are you in love or forcing it?" There are even full articles about decoding his body language! I am now supposed to read him through his body language to know if he's into me now? "uh oh! He's looking up and to the left! And now tapping his fingers! And now touching his ear and nose! It must be over." What happened to good old fashioned communication? Dating has become way too difficult for me.

In little ways I find myself buying into this though. More often than not, I find myself doing a quick left-hand-ring-finger-glance every time I see a cute looking boy. No ring? Great, I will try to get his attention. It's the maybe he's my future husband thought that creeps through my mind when a (cute and tall) boy gets on my train, opens a door for me (although this is extremely rare), or is standing in line in front of me at a coffee shop. I can't help it and I know I am not alone in this.

This has been a thought of mine for a while, and I have overheard a few conversations between women on the topic. Yesterday I heard two girls talking, "...And it was practically as if he was saying to me 'you're going to be single all your life and die alone. Bye.'" This has even happened to me. Feeling jaded, I am not the happiest and most fun flirter; I actually come off as a huge bitch sometimes. Flirting with a guy last weekend in a bar turned into me being actually kind of mean and him saying to me, "you know, you're never going to get a boyfriend if you act like that." Touché! hahaaha well what makes you think I want one, anyway?

So where does this leave me now, you may be wondering. Well, it leaves me wallowing in the fact that dating sucks. It leaves me still checking out the left hand ring fingers. It leaves me wondering if a cute and tall boy will open a door for me. I am a little more old fashioned than I ever thought I was. It leaves me having even more self respect in that I will never succumb to a one night stand out of desperation for male attention. I am weeding through the ones that are just not that into me and who I was never into in the first place. I will definitely NOT be memorizing the body language decoder! Most importantly, it leaves me deciding whether to see He's Just Not That Into You or My Bloody Valentine as I stuff my face with pistachio cupcakes on Valentine's Day this year.

Not that I encourage this, but... if you really want to know the body language bullshit, check it out: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/body-language/