where has my ugly naked guy gone?

As I mentioned awhile back, I have my own ugly naked guy who lives across my building. He is often partially or fully naked, has vibrant red bedding and stays up pretty late at night. It has become part of my nightly ritual to take a peek out my window to see what's going on with him.

Lately I have had a few close calls to thinking he had moved out of our building. Once the red sheets were replaced with new white sheets, another time there was a red mattress out on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building--did he move out?! I was always fearfully wondering. I was worried and had a gut feeling he was going to leave soon. Then one night I saw there was a girl in his room! This must be a new guy, because the ugly naked guy I know had never had a girl over! But somehow, the red sheets resurfaced and my faithful ugly naked guy still inhabited the room below me.

Sadly this all changed last night as I was going to bed. I did my nightly peek and found this shocking discovery!! Clean wood floors, no red bed, and no ugly naked guy.

I can't believe this.

my ugly naked guy

A few people have told me I'm like Rachel Green from Friends. Mostly because I have been on 5 interviews at Ralph Lauren... fingers still crossed about it. Also, my boyfriend sincerely wishes he was a volunteer at the Natural History Museum. He was talking about dinosaurs for over 10 minutes last night and how cool the bones are--so Ross Gellar. I'm fine with him being like Ross, as long as he doesn't marry a lesbian.

But, to further prove my Rachelisms, I discovered my own Ugly Naked Guy! Ugly Naked Guy lived across from Monica and Rachel and they talked about him from time to time. My favorite was when they poked him with a long stick made of Chandler's chopsticks to make sure he was alive. I also love when Ross went over there to try and bribe him into giving him the apartment and ended up hanging out with him in the nude too.Well, like I said I have recently discovered that I have an Ugly Naked Guy too! He lives across from me and probably down 3 floors. This sounds really pervy, but almost every night I take a quick peek out my window to see what he's doing and he's ALWAYS naked and with the lights on! I'm sorry if that's weird, but I can't help but be curious. He obviously doesn't care either since he doesn't have any curtains. I'm going to start collecting chopsticks just in case he croaks.