milk to go

I love "to go" things as much as the average person. I love that I have the option of picking up take out, grabbing a coffee on my way to work, or eating Go-Gurt. We live on the go!! This was made very clear to me when I saw this mom strolling down Fifth Avenue BREAST FEEDING her baby!!Some things are not meant to be portable just quite yet.

slip ups

What's a first day of work without a little awkwardness, right?

I went to bed Sunday night exhausted from a crazy fun too-much-vodka exactly-how-I-wanted-it-to-be weekend. I was too tired to even plan out my outfit the night before... yep, I was THAT tired! I am the girl who has her closet color coordinated and always has her outfit picked out the night before and ESPECIALLY on the eve of an important day!!

I first awoke from a nightmare where Juliann (my weekend Boston visitor) caused me to miss my first day of work because she couldn't find her bus back to Boston! So I woke up stressed out and confused with how much time to give myself for my new commute. I ended up being about 7 minutes late for paperwork. Big fat OOPSIES...

I got my ID issued, got to my new desk, was welcomed, got a little tour, etc. Phew.. so far so good. Then I realized that I have been meaning to buy a slip for the skirt I decided to wear yesterday because it is see through--oh yeeahhh... Definitely see through and yesterday was also laundry day which means I didn't have the best choice of undergarments. I decided to go to Bloomingdales on my lunch break to buy a slip. I told the sales girl I didn't need a bag for it because I was going to put it on immediately. She glanced down and noticed my cream colored skirt and grey underwear combo and with a little smirk, pointed me to the fitting room. I got in the fitting room and put the slip on and all of a sudden MARBLES flew off my wrist and bounced all along the fitting room floor. My favorite bracelet broke and went bouncing around in the Bloomingdales fitting room.

I scooped the beads up and realized I was starving. Food was second on my lunch to do list after the slip, so I wandered around my new work area in search of a deli. I found one that seemed strangely familar so I walked in. This deli had hand drawn pictures of all the food just like one near my former employer Abercrombie & Fitch. hmm interesting, I thought. They had the exact same things and prices too. That's when I made eye contact with one of the guys behind the counter and we exchanged a strangely familiar look. It was one of the guys who used to make my turkey club for me every day at my old deli!!!

In the packed deli he shouts, "hey I remember you! How are you? Your hair is different, but I would never forget you!"

I responded that I recognized him too and that I have highlights now. He informed me that the deli has the same owners as my alma mater deli a few blocks away. We had a nice little laugh as he handed me my familar and comforting turkey club.

Still smiling at the irony and full circle moment I had, I was stopped by the receptionist on my way back to my desk because I had a flower delivery! My boss had sent me flowers as a welcome! So fun!!! Day one yesterday was a slip up success.

friday funday

I'm SO excited it's finally Friday!! It's my last day of work, my Boston bestie Juliann is visiting, I'm slightly hungover for the second day in a row, and this weekend is gonna be FUN! I may as well be wearing this.

strapped for cash

So we're in a recession and funds are tight. I live in an apartment where the rent costs me literally 48.998% of my monthly salary. Depressing. Stressful. (And yes, I did play around with the calculator to get the closest percentage possible.)

This morning I decided to look online at potential part-time jobs. I could work in a boutique or babysit once or twice a week, right? I have no experience in the food/bar biz so that minimizes my options a lot. I've been doing some Craiglisting and here's what I found. What do you think?

Pretty Girls With Pretty Feet Wanted! ($600 - $800 Per week)

Famous foot fetish company in New York City that specializes in
Foot Fetish Sessions is seeking very attractive girls ages 18 - 29
to get paid $50 per hr to have their feet massaged and kissed
during foot fetish sessions! There is guaranteed work for each
model we hire at least 2 days per week.

As a bonus, the girls we hire for this will also get to work at our
world famous foot fetish parties in NYC! You will get to make
up to $500 per night going to an upscale party and having your feet
worshiped!

Its some of the easiest money you will ever make and there is
absolutely no sex, you don't have to be nude, and it is 100% legal
unlike other fetish jobs you may have seen on craigslist. Perfect for
actresses, models, and college students that need high paying
part time fun and easy work in this super expensive city.

To get this job you must be very attractive, have pretty feet,
be open minded about fetishes and fantasies, adventurous,
and enjoy parties and being fun and social. You also must
be punctual and responsible at the same time.

We are hiring asap so apply now if you feel you qualify and please
send ALL THREE of the following....
1. Your Name
2. Your Number
3. A Recent Photo

We will call you asap if interested and could possibly get you
some work as soon as this week! Good luck and talk to you soon!

This might be one of the weirdest things I have ever researched. PLEASE check out their website for foot fetish parties! There's actually one tomorrow night! I spent a lot of time just now reading all the pages, FAQ's and looking at the pics! wtf!?? I wonder if my feet are pretty enough to make it?

From what I read, you may be asked to do a "private session" where attendees can do whatever their twisted foot-lusting minds desire including Foot Worship, Trampling, Tickling, Foot Smelling, and Foot Domination. The only thing I'd want to partake in is Foot Domination and only if that means kicking someone in the face.

Make money fast! (Lower East Side)

Reps needed to canvas the 5 boroughs and locate wheel-chair accessible restrooms. Start immediately. Please contact us and let us know which borough you are interested in researching. Looking specifically for people in Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island, and the Bronx. Reps will also be required to enter address and phone number of found locations into a spreadsheet. We need this done, thoroughly, accurately, and immediately. Compensation: $5 for every location you identify.

This one doesn't seem so bad?! It's like a hunt for wheelchair bathrooms! But at $5 per location identified you'd have to spend a lot of time running around NYC bathrooms to make it worth it. I wonder if you could just start calling businesses asking if they're wheelchair accessible?? hmm... this has potential.

Noho Boutique seeking experienced Sales Person (SoHo)

A Bleecker Street boutique in the works to becoming the leading men’s fashion destination is seeking an experienced, talented, communicative sales associate to be part of our team. The boutique is scheduled for its grand opening in September, until then we will get to know you by participating in our sample sale.

Qualifications:
-Strong Sales Experience!!! Only experienced need apply!
-You must have a history of positive sales in a boutique environment.
-Cash handling experience/Cashier Experience
-Friendly
-Must be able to pass a background check
-Must be flexible
-Must have an eye for fashion/Coordinating
-Must have a fresh personal style
-Great Customer Service
-Must manage time efficiently: work quickly and effectively
-You must be proactive in your approach
-You must be the type of person who exhibits high standards in all areas of the workplace, promoting team morale and motivation.
- You are expected to create a sales focused environment and to maximize sales whenever possible.

Job Details:
-Working Cash Register
-Working Sales
-Working Fitting room
-Putting Back Clothes
-Picking Phone orders
-Visual (Dressing Manikins) <--NOTE THE SPELLING!
-Merchandising
-Greeting/ Customer Service
-Working with High-End Clothing

This post really isn't hilarious or weird or interesting.. I just think its funny that they are so particular with their qualifications and don't even know how to spell mannequin! I guess it does say the only thing you must pass is a background check, not a spelling test.

So what do you think? Feet, Toilets, or Manikins?

swimming lessons

We've been having daily dosages of afternoon thunderstorms. The weather is hot, muggy, thundery, lightning with sporadic rain showers. Only a true New York woman uses this forecast to her advantage. Free swimming lessons!




Lesson one: the pencil dive.

help I need socks

Ricky's (think Rite Aid+Sex Shop+Spencer's+beauty supply shop+costume store) was promoting a new line of health remedies called Help. On my walk home from work today I saw the launch of the product, complete with a live display for the bandages Help I have a blister.

and THIS is how they advertise. Man in heels on treadmill brings you Help I have a Blister!

Although the more I think about it, its not really that funny because he probably dresses drag in his free time so heels are no biggie. AND is this Help product merely a package of socks?? Because wouldn't his socks prevent the blister from forming in the first place?