txt u l8r ;-)

I cleared out my phone's history on Monday night. Today, two days later, the current state of my phone: 3 calls in my call log and 143 text messages! Text message wins! We live in the land of texting where our super-duper speedy thumbs formulate sentences and punctuation marks express emotions :-)

I remember my first experience with texting. It was 2001, I was a senior in high school and I had my first cell phone. I had the Nokia 3310 with a purple daisy printed face. My friend Angela and I tested out text messaging in speech class. This was the era when you could only successfully text someone if they had the same carrier as you. As Angela and I were both AT&T users, we quickly became text friends... until my mom got the phone bill and I was screwed. Whoops. I was doing household chores for weeks to make up for my texting rampages.

Somehow as phones have gotten smarter (cameras, full keyboards, touch screens, and internet) our language has only gotten dumber. For living in a world that is constantly searching for the better and faster, you'd think that we as people would also want to become both better and faster too. From what I have seen, we're only getting faster, NOT better and that is not necessarily a good thing. Texters alike are not taking time to s p e l l o u t simple words. The scary part is that the shorthand has become part of modern day spoken language too. I make a joke and then unashamedly follow up with a verbal "JK!" This is pretty ridiculous when I say such things around anyone over 35 years old. Talk about a generation gap that makes me look like a juvenile hooligan who doesn't know how to express full words.

But even now, I am faced with a minor generation gap. Sometimes upon receiving a text it takes me a minute to make sense of what the sender is trying to say. "OMG wuz GR8 2 C U 2nite." For some reason this only seems to be ok for tween girls to communicate this way. It seems like it takes longer to think of what numbers and misspellings to use rather than write it the right way. And that just defeats the purpose of this lingo altogether.

In fact because of my deep rooted text analysis, to me, it can make or break potential relationships. In searching through old chats, I found this conversation on the topic of boys and texting.

me: oh he texts me all the time

i'm starting to hate text messaging because that's all that boys have to do now

they never have to call

so impersonal

kerry: i know

sometimes when i'm texting i want to throw my phone away haha

The tough part about messaging is that it is addictive. It is easy. But it is not always appropriate in every situation. When I instant message with my boss at work, sometimes he will write LOL and I know he isn't laughing at all. So isn't that lying? I sit close enough to him that if he really were laughing out loud I would for sure hear him. Don't say you're laughing out loud if you're not.
But OMG, my call to text ratio is so unbalanced that when I actually see someone calling me it is a big deal! Gosh, the power of voice inflection really makes a difference that emoticons just can't compete with. I'm not going to lie though and I should admit that LOL, OMG and JK are very common inserts into my texts messages. I do still try and keep my texts in full words in an attempt to preserve the English language. I have been anti-shorthand for as long as I had been texting.

But don't stop texting me, friends! I am still a huge texting whore. All I have left to say is txt me l8r 2day plz, but it doesn't hurt to use f u l l w o r d s .

MANicure

I love a good manicure and pedicure. I've talked about this before. I also love getting massages and getting my hair done. I love just about anything that will improve my outward state and is considered pampering. I hope others get the same happy, clean, relaxed feeling that I get after a fresh coat of polish or getting my split ends trimmed away.

Spas historically have been reserved for women to disappear and reemerge happier than ever with bouncy, vibrantly highlighted hair. All we know is that the beautifying processes supposedly scare away men: thick green mudmasks with cucumbered eyes, silver alien foils in the hair, and the parmesan-like shaving of the heel skin. However, now that we're living in 2009 in the land of equal rights, men are not scared they're joining in! It is not unlikely to see a male getting his heel callouses shaved like parmesan too. Men are welcomed into this world. At some nail places you'll see men's manicure or men's pedicure (rightfully at a higher price). Men's grooming is not only limited to a hot shave and a #2 buzz cut at the neighborhood barbershop anymore. There are full service men-only spas dedicated to the pampering of our modern day dude. Equal rights 2009! All men and women with calloused feet unite!

I have to say that I am all for men getting pedicures. Who wants to date a boy with some nasty foot fungus or thick yellowed baby toenails? That is some nasty shit. I am a big fan of the metro sexual male who knows how to groom himself properly. That way I will not have to be the girlfriend who is forced to pop his bacne and remind him that he should have 2 eyebrows, not just 1.

Anyway, I was at a nail place with my pampering-loving friend Juliann and in walks a man who peels off his socks and dips his feet into the sudsy jet-powered pedicure water. I whisper to Juliann to look at his nasty baby toenail and we both cringe at the thought of the poor girl having to cut that thick, brittle nail and having to put her face so close to those rank feet. Although, in the end of it all I think good for him. It's great that this man wants to have pretty feet too. Juliann and I went over to the nail dryers to finish up our experience and I turn around to see this!
Pedicure dude is now onto his manicure with his ASS CRACK HANGING OUT. Ok, it is great that men want to improve and maintain their appearances, but isn't there something wrong with having nicely filed nails, clipped cuticles and a very exposed plumber's crack? Is he trying to prove a point and show everyone his level of masculinity? Or maybe, I thought, he is just airing out the area because next on his list of treatments is a waxing! And from what I could see, that would probably have been a good idea.

things i've learned from my parents

1. Going green is no new concept.
Ever since I can remember, my dad would absolutely insist that we turn off every light in unoccupied rooms and NEVER mess with the heat. He preached the put on a sweatshirt if you're cold speech rather than let anyone set a finger on the damn thermostat. When the thermostat was mysteriously changed to a higher setting it was never a good thing. Yikes! Now, sometimes these "good" habits have some ramifications: I turn off the lights as I exit the room, leaving some sweatshirted individual in the dark.

2. Always clean before you travel

From family camping trips to my first overseas excursion, I have learned from my mom that the mandatory precursor to a successful vacation is a clean house to come home to. Ever since I can remember, vacuuming is to suitcases, as emptying the trash is to travel-sized deodorants.

3. Uncleanliness can be FUN
Only a mother can love her daughter enough to not only tolerate, but encourage uncleanliness. Every time I go home for a visit I turn into a dirty scrub for a day or two. You may think I am talking about not applying eye makeup so I can satisfyingly rub my eyes. No. I am talking about hair that is so greasy it looks like I rubbed a tub of Crisco on my bangs. And what does my mom say? With a chuckle she simply says, "Isn't it fun to be ugly?" Yes it is.

4. I can only hope to be like them!
As I've gotten older I realize what fun they have with eachother. They're truly lifelong companions and always know how to make eachother laugh. They're great parents and a huge support system to their 3 kids. Thanks mom and dad for being so fun, great, silly, and awesome role models. I love you!

Apt #31 part II

I know the anticipation has been killing all my faithful readers and I just got my internet turned back on, so here it is. Drum roll please!We're going on week two in our new apartment now. Yay! We've had some minor glitches, but so far so good. The move went well; we ordered a pizza, propped open the doors of #32 and #31 and made the many arm-load trips into the new place. And just in case there is any confusion, we LITERALLY moved next door. Please see the visual aid I have prepared for anyone who may not understand what I mean by next door.

I deep cleaned the fridge in the new place which had some black dog hairs stuck inside the fridge door. eww. They let their dog look around in the fridge? Laina scrubbed out the kitchen cabinets and we each cleaned our new rooms. While cleaning her room, she discovered massive amounts of dustbunnies residing in her radiator. This set her off into a focused cleaning mode in which she began poking and prodding into her radiator using chopsticks, our dustbuster and salad tongs to remove the dust clumps. I peeked in the room to find her playing her own solitary game of Operation on a quest to remove all dustbunnies before hitting the metal edges.

In the end, our super removed the radiator from her room entirely which gave her 5 more inches to her room and wasted her long and thoughtful dust extraction efforts. Just to be sure she was safe from a future "water attack," I assisted her in stuffing the exposed pipe with papertowels and wrapping Saran wrap around it several times. No floods here.

Laina went to Ikea over the weekend and thankfully bought some furniture. Coming from such a tiny apartment to a more normal sized one, it is pretty empty. No table, no couch, no TV stand. Laina bought a kitchen table and a TV stand this weekend among the other gadgets from Ikea that you just can't help but toss into your blue and yellow bag.

We carried the stuff up our 6 flights of stairs and then got to work putting the furniture together. This was no easy feat. I realized how bad my screwdrivers are, how bad Ikea's instruction manuals are, and how Ikea furniture has to be done on a buddy system. While Laina was working on putting together the TV stand, her instructions were only this:

A hand screwing in a screw and then twisting the table leg onto it. She began screwing in the screw with her bare hand like the picture shows. She said it was hurting so I tossed her an oven mit. I was busy with the kitchen table at the time, but turned to look at her and she is now screwing in the screw with her oven mitted hand cursing at Ikea for the horrible instructions and terrible hole placement causing our furniture to be flawed. Gotta love what girls use as tools to get things done around the house. Oven mits, chopsticks, salad tongs and saran wrap.

Slowly but surely it is coming together. We may be watching TV while sitting on folding chairs but it won't be like that forever. Hopefully. Our most difficult task is probably the kitchen. This is a picture of how it looked when we first moved in.

So much white I feel like there should be a blood pressure machine mounted to the wall. The drawers seem like they should be filled with syringes and cotton balls. My arm hurts in flu shot anticipation.

There is still a lot of white in my "after" pic, but we have added a few things and its beginning to look a bit better and less like a hospital.

Please see the beautiful exposed brick, my very chic and lovely cactus and the super cute red cushioned chairs. And yes, obviously I realize this is not the same view as above and that's because those clinical cabinets unfortunately still look like that. We're toying around with some ideas: contact paper, new handles, etc. We're open to suggestions.

I'm very enthusiastic about this move and excited about my new home. There will definitely be more to come once we get some more furniture and more stories of our silly girly household tool choices.

it's beginning to look a lot like

Valentine's DayPlease see that next to the snow-heart is a snow-penis. BWWAAAHAHA Guess the city can't be too lovey dovey

Apt #31

Laina and I live in the tiniest space that can probably legally be called an apartment. We have no living room, no dining room and no kitchen drawers. To watch The City and Grey's Anatomy, we both sit on my bed together. We live down a 19 foot hallway (the bowling lane) that leads to mini-me living in which we utilize everything IKEA makes for quirky apartments. I fantasize of a living room and a couch and a kitchen drawer to put my spoons in.

My fantasies are on the brink of real life. Since living in our building, Laina and I quickly discovered that with every vacant apartment, they don't lock the doors. Every time we've discovered a vacancy we shamelessly let ourselves in and snoop around, sizing up every other apartment ("ohh that one didn't have a dishwasher," "I didn't like the light fixtures," "wouldn't it be nice to live on the 2nd floor instead of the 6th?"). Well, one day we noticed the apartment next door to us was empty... apartment #31. We walked in to a large kitchen, exposed brick, a living room, an extra closeted two bedroom apartment. I. WANT. IT.

Laina called and emailed the guy we signed our lease with and he told her the price--out of our price range. Dang. I started some Craigslisting at work and found the apartment for $5 less than what we pay now! So now I begin emailing and calling. No response for 2 days. They have open houses on both days for the apartment we have clearly stated we want. Someone calls me back and says it shouldn't be a problem to transfer us over to a new lease. AWESOME. Dream move here we come. We will be propping open both doors, cranking some tunes and enjoying the easiest and best move anyone has ever had in no time.

After a few phone calls with the management, I am told a variety of different things. We need a $500 certified check, no we don't. We need to fill out the application again and provide bank statements, pay stubs, W2's, I-9's, letters of employment. No, all we need to do is fill out the application and provide 2 pay stubs--their computer system is down so come in on Monday to sign the lease.
Monday: their computer system is still down. Come tomorrow.
Tuesday: computer system is still down; email the documents (how can email be received if the system is down?) hmm....
Wednesday: Laina decides to lay down the law; she calls them to tell them this is unacceptable.
Thursday: We sign the lease
Friday: We're (supposed to be) moving in but can't get in touch with the super to get keys....

....to be continued....