happy

new year!!

how was your Christmas break?

Today I was among the 10 people who went back to work, 3 days after Christmas. The holiday spirit still was lingering in the office and my other three co-workers who stumbled into the office today were joyfully exchanging stories. I saw Avatar. I went to great parties. I went to New Orleans!!

Jamie, what did you do?

ummmm.. I did a 1000-piece puzzle .

 

yep, HUGE nerd.
I also played with this cute pup. How is she so cute? I just want to bite her ear off!!! Seriously clenching my jaw looking at this picture.

twenty ten new men - part I

After my break up in September, my dear friend and future roommate Kilali (also victim of horrible relationships in '09) and I resolved to allow ourselves to be sad and pathetic for the remainder of the year but bounce back in the new year. From September through December I was MIA, ordered in a LOT of pad thai and laid on the couch watching countless hours of TV. But with the new year approaching, I am getting antsy and ready to head into the decade with our mantra TWENTY-TEN NEW MEN!

Let me set the record straight by saying this isn't a race to see who can be the bigger maneater, but more of a healthy mindset. The ex files are officially closed, folks. I must say, a boost of inspiration comes from my friends' blog the 4321 Experiment where four roommates (two of which I once called roommates) are all online dating and reporting their results for all to read. Over Thanksgiving my mom started nudging me: "why don't you try your own experiment? You need to see that not all guys are jerks." My response at the time: "Mom, I am NOT interested. Someone who hates all men should not be dating!!!!"

Flash forward one month and I have resolved to take matters into my own hands and seek out new and better men. Something clicked and I started twenty ten new men early.

For example...

Last week after drinking champagne at a work function, a few of us migrated to a bar. Being that we started drinking at 4, I was drunk by 8. I began making eyes--blatantly staring at a cute waiter. He was cute, tall and was wearing glasses. Somehow after tequila shots with gross Jersey Shore type guys, I boldly decided to give the scholarly-cute waiter my phone number. I walked up to him and when I tried to give him my number, he stopped me because he had already written his number for me to take.

Let the texting begin! I woke up painfully hungover on Friday and looked through my phone only to be embarrassed by the stupid texts I sent. But, they must not have been that bad because he kept asking when we could meet up. He came over to my friend's party on Saturday (through a blizzard mind you) and was SO nice, cute, friendly and tall. He is from Georgia, one of 5 siblings and confessed to reading the Twilight series. Aside from the Twilight confession, he did pass my test #1. I was wearing 3 inch heels which put me at 6'2", and he was STILL comfortably taller than me.

But things have gotten a little weird. He texts me at random times and has yet to set anything in stone. Hello, why can't you just pick a time and we will meet. It's called a date!? Come on Southern boy, you should know how to charm a lady!!

Yesterday he asked at 5:19pm if we could meet up. I said possibly later because I have to pack and run some errands before I leave for Seattle. No response. I woke up this morning to find a text received at 1:29am "You still out? need a drink or hot cocoa?" ...ummm no. I went to bed at 11:30. And this is where I get awkward. I don't know how to respond to that. I figure my options are:

1) "Hi. I was asleep at 1:30.. rain check?"
2) "By later, I meant 8 or 9, not 1:30"
3) "Are you a vampire? Why are you drinking cocoa at 1:30 am?"

Obviously I sent him text option 3.

TWENTY TEN NEW MEN!!

Let the games begin!

that fuzzy Christmas feeling

Today I received a super chic and fancy Christmas present. It is the below tower of cute purple boxes with toffee, caramels and truffles from some swanky Upper East Side chocolate shop. I was so excited because A.) I love purple, B.) I don't have much food at home and C.) I have an aggressive fat inner child who could barely wait the subway ride home to binge on the chocolate for dinner.

I opened up the pretty the boxes and read the 'what's what' information inside and chose to try the Naga chocolate. Sweet Indian curry powder + coconut + milk chocolate. The circled chocolate below.

I bit into it and it was rock hard and coated inside with a strange powdery/fuzzy texture. I took a closer look at the inside (although it was really blurry because I JUST finally got my contacts). I thought maybe this was some strange exotic addition and was maybe the curry powder until I felt the fuzz of mold on my tongue. I ran to the bathroom to spit it out and wash out my mouth.

Laina and I cut up all the rest to see what was lurking inside. Out of the box of nine, two were moldy. Of course it was the one I bit into.

Merry Moldy Christmas!

chestnuts

Roasting in a hot dog? stand..

I have equal feelings of intrigue and disgust seeing New York City's hot dog stands roast and serve CHESTNUTS during the holidays. The smoke is thick and REEKS! Whenever I have to pass a cart I make my best effort to dive out of the way before the wretched smell permeates my hair.

Maybe I don't fully grasp the whole chestnuts at Christmas time correlation (besides singing Jack Frooooost nipping at your nose). But today after work I was feeling inquisitive and got obsessed with ASKING a hot dog stand guy what the heck these nuts are doing sharing a basket with pretzels! They don't belong there.


I passed 4 or 5 stands until I gained the courage to ask about a nut display. The chestnuts were hanging in a tin foil bowl with a purple ribbon dangling at the bottom-so festive. I marched up and asked "What are these? And why do you have them?"

He responded simply, "they are chestnuts and we have them because people like them."

I asked stupidly, "well, do people actually buy them though? Because they stink!"

He said, "Yes, that's why we sell them."

"Well that makes sense. But isn't it weird that you sell them from a HOT DOG STAND next to PRETZELS and GATORADE?"

He either thought I was a major idiot, or didn't understand much of what I was saying. He laughed, shrugged and cracked open a nut for me to try.

I swear it tasted like a hot dog. 


 

It's been a year!!!

my blind date

It is FINALLY Friday night and as I was wrapping up at work, I received a text message from my gay best friend.

"You doing anything tonight? Interested in seeing a single man at 1020?"

My thoughts = that's odd. Is he setting me up on a blind date? Who plans a date at 10:20? That's a weird time. I didn't think he knew any single, straight men. My response: "A straight single man?"


His response: "Ha! Tom Ford's new movie."


Oh. Right...

A few minutes later after feeling embarrassed and laughing at myself realizing I confused a movie for a man, I said, "So you realize I thought you were setting me up on a blind date, right? haha!"


"Yeah, I got that :-) Sorry don't know many single straight men"


I don't think anyone does.

ponytail lessons

Laina: do you ever wear your hair in a ponytail?

Me: no.

Laina: Why not?

Me: Because I have a weird shaped head.

Laina: Show me. I don't know what you're talking about.

I gather my hair and attempt to show her my weird head.

Laina: Has someone told you that your head is a weird shape?

Me: No, but I think so. Plus all the shorter pieces of hair fall in my face and are annoying.

Laina: You can pin them back. Ponytails are so convenient.

I get a ponytail holder and put my hair up and look at the back of my head with two mirrors.

Me: See, it just looks dumb. It sticks straight out and I don't know how high to wear it. My hair is too short to be in a ponytail anyway.

Laina: It does not look weird! And it does not stick straight out.

Me: Ok, but another reason I don't like them is since I'm tall when my hair is up it makes my head look tiny on a big body. Like a pea head.

Laina: You don't have a tiny head on a big body! Pull it up again and let me see. If you don't wear your hair in ponytails because you think you have a weird head or look like you have a tiny head, that's not true and not a legitimate reason to not wear ponytails. If you don't wear them because you simply don't like them, then that's fine.

Me: Ok, I don't like them.

I swear we've had this conversation before.

reindeer games

Holiday parties are starting to be talked about at work. I got an email from another assistant about planning a surprise Christmas party. It went a little something like this:

So- for our December monthly meeting coming up, the last 30 minutes will be a mini holiday celebration - it will be a surprise. I'm going to need some help so anyone else that would like to volunteer, please pass this along! I'm in the process of ordering pastries, cupcakes, gingerbread men, coffee, and mimosas.

I'm going to need help passing out the treats and drinks. I've got some cute little Santa hats and reindeer noses for you all to wear! Plus mini candy canes to pass around. Please let me know if you can/want to help out and we can talk at some point next week to nail down the plan. Thanks!

 I of course volunteered to help, but said a big HELL to the NO to wearing a reindeer nose. One girl replied to all saying:

I'm def in to help. I refuse to wear a reindeer nose unless I have 5+ mimosas. :-)

This will be fun to work with all people my age. Today we had our first planning meeting. The girl planning it was talking about her boss and how crazy he has been about it. She said he has called her a few times at night just to tell her the ideas he's thought of.

One of his ideas is that he is making her sing! She has created a makeshift band with other employees to perform during the party. Her most annoying band member is the flutist. haha. The other planners and I teased her about how embarrassing and lame it is going to be. The meeting and "party" will begin at 9am! Who is going to get in the social and holiday spirit and want to party at 9:30am!??

During all the joking and laughing, I uncontrollably said "oh too bad I didn't know about this sooner, I would've sang with you."

biggest. mistake. ever.

Now she asked me to come to her band practices! This party is going to be a bad rendition of a Glee song. How am I going to sneak away from my desk for my secret reindeer Glee club practices?

Other things her boss wants us to do that are equally embarrassing are:

• Sing-- obviously embarrassing
• Throw fake snow into the crowd
• Head of HR dress up as Santa Claus
• Walk down the main staircase in Santa hats and reindeer noses serving platters of candy canes
• Did I mention singing in front of 160+ work professionals with a reindeer nose on?!

I can just hear future conversations now:

"Who is the new girl in PR? I keep forgetting."

"Oh, that reindeer singer girl who threw fake snow."

"That's right. What a nerd."

case in point.

To Be Continued...

funny Target

Catch Phwase

Important preface to the story is that I was a nanny for 3 years in college. All three of the kids I babysat had the same speech impediment. Y's replaced L sounds and W's replaced R's. SO.. Aftew thwee yeaws of babysitting them I yeawned a pewfected babytalk and tend to talk in it fwom time to time. My famiyee has also twied it too and we talk yike it pwobably a yitt-oh too much, you will yeawn once you wead this stowy beyow.

Being home for Thanksgiving was great. What's more to love than family, food and games? I love to bring out all the board games whenever I'm home and force everyone to play at any slight sense of downtime. Waiting for mom to cook? Grab Scategories. Don't want to help with the dishes? Bring out Boggle.

I've had my favorites: Boggle was great last year at Christmas with my bro, Cranium entertained us all for hours last year at Thanksgiving, Balderdash was a hit a couple years ago on family vacation. Scategories is always a winner to me. And what was this year's winner? drumrolllllll......... trusty old Catch Phrase.

For some reason Catch Phrase seemed a little overplayed to me and I wasn't excited at first. Then the "how do you play?" questions started.. my family had never played before? Or had they forgotten?? This could be fun. So I explained the rules to everyone: "You have to say clues about whatever word pops up in this little window viewer thing without saying any part of the word," and I displayed how to click the disk (yes, literally click because we still have the original non-electronic first generation game).

We divided into teams. Me and my brother-in-law against my sister and Mom. We got a few rounds in before Dad's ears perked up at the sound of fun and he relocated from his solitary TV watching to join in. This complicated the teams having 5 people and uneven teams. The new teams were Mom, Sister, Brother-in-law versus Me and Dad. The seating arrangements were complicated too. We had a hard time with the logistics, but got a good game going. We had a nice flow until the buzzer started going spastically fast and Sister would pass to Brother-in-law and it would BUZZ causing Sister to get pissed that even after she got her word guessed, her team would still lose because she passes to her teammate.

Well, I pointed out that her slowdown was on par with mine because Dad was unable to read the tiny print within the disk's word viewer thing. Every time it was passed to him he'd sit there forever before he could make out the word. At one point he and Mom were sharing a pair of glasses back and forth which didn't work so well when they were passing both the disk and the glasses. This is a competition!

It was pure chaos when Mom thought she was trying to get her teammates to guess Bite the Bullet but misread it to be Bite the Dust and embarrassed herself by overly explaining "someone is JUST dead. They're TOTTTALLY dead.... ohmygosh that is NOT the phrase at all" Click to the next word. We all busted out laughing.

Dad was trying to get me to guess encore and my mind went blank. Mom was trying to get her team to guess Fingers and for some reason she apparently had been focused on the chicken fingers I had eaten at the airport TGI Fridays and kept talking about chickens to get her team to guess fingers. No one was even close to guessing fingers when she frustratedly shouted "FORGET ABOUT THE CHICKENS!!"

But the best Catch Phrase moment of all was when my mom was trying to get her teammates to guess broom so she said "You SWEEP with it!" and my sister yelled "a BLANKET!!"

Sounds yike my big sistoh has had a yitt-oh too much baby talk when she mistook SWEEP for SLEEP!

EWR ---> SEA

Wednesday November 25th 3:55pm flight to Seattle.

..out of Newark.

Out of the three NYC airports, Newark is my least favorite to fly out of -- especially during the holidays.

We had a half day at work so I left at 12, got on the subway to 34th Street, walked to Penn Station, waited in line for 15 minutes to buy my train ticket, got on the train and transferred to the air train.

At the air train station I checked the monitor for my flight and correct terminal. My flight wasn't posted. hmm that's weird. I must be early or the monitor must not be updated. I boarded the overly crowded air train anyway and was crammed into the little pod-like compartment among the other holiday travelers.

While in my seat on the air train I decided to verify my travel documents. Why wasn't my flight on the screen?? Waves of a sickening feeling started in my stomach. I unfolded my printed confirmation email to see "New York-Kennedy" discreetly printed at the very bottom. I AM ON MY WAY TO THE WRONG AIRPORT!!!!!!!!!!!

Panic, shaky hands, stomach cramps, frantic texts filled with misspellings to Jecca and Laina take place. Obviously I can't start making phone calls and let eavesdroppers hear of my mistake. I have to maintain a little bit of composure in front of my fellow air train-ers. I texted my mom, I texted Laina, Colleen and Jecca something along the lines ofHoly s***!!! My flight is out of JFK and I'm headed to Newark! F***

I got off the air train at terminal A and started a mad dash in pointless circles back and forth between the American Airlines ticketing counter to the escalator to the window and back again. I called my parents' house, I called my mom's office, I called my mom's cell, I called my dad's cell, I texted my sister... NO RESPONSES! Where is my family during this emergency! I may be absent from our Thanksgiving dinner!!

Luckily, thanks to gchat, Jecca stepped in and took the necessary steps to help me. She got on the phone with a car service who told her traffic between Newark and JFK would be an hour and a half. I would never make the flight. She checked the Alaska flights out of Newark and the 6:30pm flight wasn't sold out. She sent me the 1-800 number for Alaska Airlines.

I found a semi-private corner to make the call. I was connected with Sharon.

"Hi-Sharon- my-name-is-Jamie-and-I-am-traveling-to-Seattle-from-New-York-I-was-supposed-to-go-to-JFK-and-I-went-to-Newark-I-am-at-the-wrong-airport-I am-never-going-to-make-my-flight-home-for-Thanksgiving-what-can-I-doooo?"

While she put me on hold, I called my dad on my other phone. Terrified freak in the airport corner with two Blackberries, one on each ear. With hold music in one ear and my dad's voicemail in the other, I left my dad a panicky message.

Sharon got back on the phone and told me that I can leave from Newark on the 6:30pm flight. "PERFECT. Let's do it!"

"Bless your heart, dear. You will make it home in time for Thanksgiving. You're not the first person this has happened to. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Thank you so much! You have been so helpful. I will make it home to see my family, but they will never let me live this down. Thanks so much for your help!! Happy Thanksgiving!"

$305 later, after my "expensive mistake" as per Sharon, my ticket was changed.

I finally got in touch with my mom who was completely and surprisingly calm about the situation.. does she not know what trauma I just went through?! Does she realize her 25 year old daughter should be in assisted living?! She blamed my lazy eye.. That's right! I would have been able to get to the correct airport if I had some freaking contacts!

Anyway, I made it to Seattle and I am thankful for Jecca, gchat and Sharon from Alaska Airlines this year. Seriously.. if it wasn't for them I'd probably still be curled up in a ball crying in the corner of terminal A.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

googly eye?

I went to the eye doctor yesterday for the first time in 6 or 7 years. I've had glasses since I was 16 but never wear them. The lenses don't even fit in the frames anymore. I've known since I was a teenager that I have astigmatism and figured that as a 25 year old adult, I'd better get a check up. At work I have to pull my computer monitor an embarrassingly close distance to my face so I figured I was in store for an updated prescription and maybe even (gasp!) contacts.

At the doctor I did the normal tests - the puff of air in the eye (which always makes me think of Rachel on Friends), followed the doctor's pen move around in circles, and read the eye chart from across the room. I found that I had a really hard time distinguishing any letters with my left eye when my right eye was covered. Everything looked like teensy little grey blurry blobs.


She wrote some things on her clipboard and said,

"You have astigmatism. It's worse in your left eye and making it a

mild

LAZY eye.

have you ever been told that?"

"umm. nope... "

She left the room and I sat there shocked wondering about my newly announced lazy eye. Is this something people can see and NO ONE has EVER told me?!! Do people not know which eye to look at when they talk to me?? That is SO awkward! She said when I followed the pen my eye was floaty! I never knew I had a set of googly eyes.

When I got home I made Laina stare at me. She said she couldn't see it. But I feel like I have a set of

gOoGLy eyes.

my matinee date

oh you know.. just hanging out with some ceee-yuute boys today

so what if they're only 17 years old?

sensory underload

In any big city, we have sensory overload. Thousands of sights to be seen, things to be heard, food to taste, things to feel, and smells to be smelled (although usually an unpleasant trash and pee combo). We have the gift of senses.. did we forget that?

A few weeks ago I heard on the news that NYPD vehicles have been outfitted with a device called the Rumbler. Ever since I heard this story I've been a little obsessed. This is a device that is used in tandem with the LOUD and forceful audible siren. The Rumbler emits vibrations that can be felt, so drivers with their stereos on and pedestrians with headphones on can be alerted to the approach of emergency vehicles. Are bright flashing RED and blue lights and ear splitting sirens not enough to catch our attention anymore? Soon we're going to have to be tasered.

iPods and car stereos aren't the only things to be blamed. Texting, Twittering, Facebooking while walking are all the things that are endangering us. We don't pay attention to what we're doing or where we're going. We've seen the headlines: "Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole," London introduced a "safe texting street" !!lined with padded lampposts!! Are we going to have to text-proof our world now? Ridiculous.

But, I too am guilty which is why I am writing this post. On Wednesday after work I had some time to kill before meeting a friend. I decided to walk around a little bit--look for my future husband... hey, you NEVER know!

Anyway.. I'm walking along and glance at my iPod to ensure Lady Gaga is on repeat when BAMMmM! One of my biggest fears takes place! Did I miss seductive eye contact with a handsome 6'4" stud? .no. .worse.

Carelessly in my Lady Gaga iPod dilemma, I failed to see

THIS

headed straight at me!

I had to JUMP over the cane to avoid tripping both of us! My lack of awareness and appreciation for my eye sight got me thinking about how much I take it for granted. It's sad to think about people who are living with the challenges of not having all working senses in comparison to those of us who would rather have iPods in our ears and BlackBerries in front of our faces.

I say, put the phone in the pocket, pull the headphones out of your ears and take a look and listen around. We're lucky we can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell our world.



even if it does sometimes smell like pee.

for Colleen

you know what its for.
I love you.

this just seems wrong

In college I used to happily blast the Mariah Carey Christmas CD in my dorm room the day after Halloween. Once Halloween was over I basically considered it Christmas and gladly embraced the holiday season. For some reason I am a total Scrooge and in denial this year. But its creeping up on me everywhere! Here are just a few examples...

Although not yet lit, the LES Christmas lights were hung in my neighborhood BEFORE Halloween.

Today, on a day where I had a PICNIC in Central Park at a comfortable 60-something-degree sunny day, we noticed that the Christmas star is ALREADY hanging in the 57th Street intersection.Trying to ease into it, I have Mariah Carey playing right now, but it does not feel right. Where did summer go? I just spent the past 3 hours going through my clothes and hanging all my sweaters converting my closet into a winter closet.

How is this happening??!!

Shut up Mariah! I don't care who you want for Christmas... It is NOT time for you yet.

Does anyone agree with me? I'm pissed.

x y z

Today was one of those days where everything was off. First of all, I hate Tuesdays with a passion. They are always my worst days. I snoozed my alarm for too long, decided to download music instead of get ready, just missed the subway. I seemed to have fallen out of the "loop" that I need to be in at work. I couldn't do anything right. In an email fight with my boss (fight = normal emails by the way... I am clearly overly sensitive) I was forced to apologize for something really minor that wasn't even a problem rather than lack of clarity.. blaghhh I hate being forced to admit to my boss that I am an incapable idiot.

ANYWAY..

Today was one of those days where I didn't seem to understand anything around me. I missed meetings I didn't know I was supposed to be in, I was included in projects I didn't know my boss volunteered me to help out in. I accidentally said "fart" instead of "part" and I was put in charge of managing the remodeling of a new office!!!? I didn't know any of the correct technical and contractor terms I should've been using when speaking with the head of facilities and information systems. Again.. I sounded like a huge idiot. (think: "ohh so your department only hooks up the phone wires and not the ..umm .. power wires?)

When deciding what to do after work today, I figured it would be best to go straight home to avoid any more forced announcements of my idiocity. Plus all I really wanted to do anyway was watch Gossip Girl and eat the $6 worth of broccoli I bought this weekend (Whole Foods is hella expen$ive!) I sat on the subway home rethinking my day and getting frustrated with myself and how I need to try harder tomorrow and do a better job before my boss really starts regretting hiring me.

Frustration and annoyance with my lack of savviness in life started to take over until this entered my subway train and stood right in front of my face. This is when my staring problem and immaturity took over. My formerly frustrated furrowed brow was lifted as my inner 3rd grader was overjoyed and dying to yell

"XYZ! eXamine Your Zipper!!!"

He must have been having a lousy Tuesday too. It's nice to know that in a city where everyone seems so polished and put together, this guy wasn't. At least all of my clothes were properly on and fastened today.

I realize that my level of excitement over this is very pathetic. But its probably more pathetic that I ate $6 worth of broccoli!

10/31!

HApPy HaLlOwEeN

I've been excited about this holiday for weeks. I love Halloween. I love dressing up and seeing how creative people can be. I have been planning my costume for 2 weeks! I pulled out all the stops to put my costume together. I had some arts and crafts time and even eBayed to get the right accessory pieces! Here is my inspirational photo. I'm going as the Hamburglar tonight!

Laina and I have had some mini festivities at home with kitchen craft time. She loves looking at baking blogs and I came home from work to find her hard at work baking (and burning) cookies for a spiderweb treat we'd bring to a pumpkin party. I sought out looking for carvable pumpkins for our party and wandered around our neighborhood unsuccessfully to over 6 places only to find out pumpkins are SOLD OUT.!!? I managed to find 2 little pumpkins that I wasn't sure we'd even be able to carve. We decorated our cookies and went to our party! So fun!

Her best decorated cookie

My best decorated cookie

My pumpkin was carvable! And he liked our cookies too :-)

Halloween turns me into a little kid!! I'm pretty sure I embarrassed Kilali in the costume shop and just now jumped into Laina's bed with spooky hands and said
"oohhh happy halloweeeeeeeen!!" Her response: "yep. your favorite holiday."

Can't wait to steal some burgers from McDonald's tonight!

mama, mary poppins & midnight burgs

My mom came to visit me for a NYC staycation a few weeks ago and we had SO MUCH FUN! She arrived on a Friday evening and came to "pick me up" from work. (I've had a track record of being a slightly cranky hostess with visiting family members, but I PROMISED to be nice this time...) I was SO niiiice I even let her take a pic of me in my desk at work.

Our staycation would not be complete without staying in a Midtown hotel and having a semi-itinerary planned. Most important items on the agenda were where (and how frequently) we could eat. Our hotel was close to Madison Square Park and the famous Shake Shack where I had never been. Such a shame as a New Yorker that I can't always participate in the constant burger debates without sampling what Shake Shack has to offer. In passing I pointed out the always-long, curvy line of burger customers winding through the park (at all hours of the day). We came up with our plan of attack--we would either go right before they close or for breakfast when they open. We were determined to get a burger and beat the line.

Saturday was filled with pancakes and a bit of shopping. We went to see the lovely Broadway production of Mary Poppins and loved it! 3/4 of the way through the second half I started thinking about Shake Shack and it evolved into an obsession. I. HAD. TO. HAVE. IT... TONIGHT. So... I pantomimed eating an invisible burger to my mom and our mother-daughter brain waves synchronized and it was confirmed without using any words that we would be eating burgers post-show. My mouth watered thinking about fries and cheesey burger.. ketchup and crispy lettuce.

I didn't realize that we were carelessly giving Mary Poppins and the Banks family a standing ovation while the burger clock was ticking away! Shake Shack closes at 11pm and we were still in the theater still at 10:40! we have to get out of here!!!

We hurried out the door but were in Times Square. This is no place to get a cab. A pedi-cab rang his puny bicycle bell and offered a ride--doesn't he realize he can't pedal our fat asses fast enough to get us a much needed 11pm night cap burger?!

I decided we'd be better off speedwalking out of Times Square to find a cab. We walked to 5th Ave and I jumped in a cab.

"23rd STREET MADISON SQUARE PARK AS FAST AS YOU CAN!"

10:56pm and we got to the Southwest corner of the park and ran through the blinking crosswalk hand. "We're never going to make it!" I shout to my mom as we're running. I stopped running feeling defeated and sad that we weren't getting burgers. Mom keeps running full speed ahead with no signs of slowing down!

"Stop running. This is pointless!!!!!!!!!!!"

She didn't listen to me! She kept running full speed ahead so I started running again too. We got to the window and were panicky until the employee stuck his head out and said "If you ladies want to order you need to do it now. We're closing." IT WAS A BURGER MIRACLE!

"TWO CHEESEBURGERS!" I yelled without looking at any menu. "two orders of fries and diet cokes?" I ordered in a questioning voice seeking my mom's approval all at once in disbelief we made it.

Once the order was successfully placed we started laughing hysterically out of relief that we were going to be satisfying our craving for burgers at this hour in the night. And laughing at how serious and stressful this quest for burgers had become.

Here are the victory pictures

classic post-burger-binge shame



mom and sister are coming for a visit verrrrry soon! Burgers anyone??!?!?!

where has my ugly naked guy gone?

As I mentioned awhile back, I have my own ugly naked guy who lives across my building. He is often partially or fully naked, has vibrant red bedding and stays up pretty late at night. It has become part of my nightly ritual to take a peek out my window to see what's going on with him.

Lately I have had a few close calls to thinking he had moved out of our building. Once the red sheets were replaced with new white sheets, another time there was a red mattress out on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building--did he move out?! I was always fearfully wondering. I was worried and had a gut feeling he was going to leave soon. Then one night I saw there was a girl in his room! This must be a new guy, because the ugly naked guy I know had never had a girl over! But somehow, the red sheets resurfaced and my faithful ugly naked guy still inhabited the room below me.

Sadly this all changed last night as I was going to bed. I did my nightly peek and found this shocking discovery!! Clean wood floors, no red bed, and no ugly naked guy.

I can't believe this.

best two out of three

"In New York they say you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment. So let's say you have two out of three and they're fabulous. Why do we let the one thing we don't have affect how we feel about all the things we do have?"

-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & The City

My good friend Kilali reminded me of this episode as we caught up over pasta, steak and a bottle of wine last week. I've been reflecting on my almost three years(!!) in New York and based on my track record, found this quote to be true.

When I first moved to NYC I had all three: job, boyfriend and apartment. The job and the apartment were far from amazing, but they did the trick. Then the boyfriend and I broke up shortly thereafter. I still had 2/3: job and apartment.

By the time I gained a new boyfriend my lease was up and I had to find a new apartment. I was literally homeless and bummed around on friends' couches and airbeds for a month. But I had 2/3: job and boyfriend.

There was a short period of time when I had all three again, but the relationship faded away. I was left with 2/3: job and apartment.

Said boyfriend and I were on-again-off-again for awhile, and during an "on" time I had to find yet another apartment. I had a stable 2/3: job and boyfriend during this time.

The apartment was found, I still had the same job, but the boyfriend and I broke up immediately after I signed the lease (I was literally assembling my new dresser in my empty apartment when we broke up). But I still had 2/3: job and NEW apartment.

It was me, job and apartment for awhile until I gained a boyfriend. It was a brief encounter having all three again, but it was only a few weeks until I was laid off from my job. But to get me through it, I had 2/3: boyfriend and apartment.

My job search was on for a few months and I landed a fantastic job and essentially again had all three for a bit. Then boyfriend and I broke up which leaves me in my current 2/3 state: NEW job and apartment.

Making sense of my jumbled timeline is confusing and my summary is probably not even fully accurate. To break it down, I've had 4 jobs, 2 boyfriends and 4 apartments all in under 3 years. Its confusing and hard to remember which apartment went with which job, etc. Basically I have found that I am always missing or wanting a new one of the three things when I should be happy and proud of what I have.
As for my fraction balancing now, I am not letting my job go anywhere... so I guess that means by the time I need a new apartment I'll have a new boyfriend, right? I suppose it only makes sense.

what I've been missing in my life

One thing is driving me nuts... literally. Nutella. We all go through stages of cravings, but this one is getting bad. I come home from work and eat this for dinner.
It all started awhile ago when I started mentioning to Laina that I was really missing Nutella in my life. Then it really opened a can of worms when I ordered vanilla Nutella panini ice cream sandwiches last Friday. It was pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me. Now I can't get it off my mind or off my spoon! I bought myself a jar last week and then Laina came home with one to surprise me! Now we have 2 jars in our kitchen and I've lost all self control and begun trying to incorporate it in every meal. Here are a few images that make me happy and want another spoonful.

yum. Hey Laina--Halloween costumes?