a nice meating.

Chocolate covered bacon. I did some research and found that it exists! It's called "pig candy" and can be purchased at Roni-Sue's Chocolates in the Essex Street Market which is super close to my apartment. My roommate Laina and I met there after work today and went straight to the chocolate shop for the chocolate covered bacon. I purchased milk and dark chocolate pig candy and we were all set to go.

On our way toward the exit, a piratey-looking man with a long brown ponytail and multiple earrings blurts out, "Welcome to the market!" He introduces himself as Jeffrey, a fourth generation butcher in the market and insists on showing us the family business and how old time butchery is done. He pulls out a big slab of raw meat to show us a few things.

"First, the butcher takes the New York strip steak," he says as he pats the slab with his blood-crusted hand. "The butcher then assesses that he is cutting for two skinny little girls and will trim the fat off the edges," he says as he gracefully slices off most of the white parts. "The butcher will wrap them up and say 'enjoy your welcome-to-the-market gift.'" He hands us the bag of meat.

"Now this is some good quality meat I'm giving you. Do NOT fuck it up."

We laugh, continue in small talk and cooking instructions because we really didn't want to fuck these steaks up. We mentioned we've lived in the neighborhood since April and he insisted on a welcome-to-the-neighborhood gift of a fresh mozzarella ball. These two "welcome" gifts combined will become the best meal I've had since Thanksgiving weekend!

We get home and I carefully follow Jeffrey's instruction. Oven heated to 325 degrees. Check. Hot skillet sprinkled with salt and pepper. Check. Unwrapped steaks ready for searing. Check.

I think I'm good to go.

Except... the pepper in the skillet starts smoking a little too much. Shit! I know what's coming next. Our overactive smoke alarm is beeping within seconds and our apartment is filled with peppered smoke igniting a coughing frenzy. Yep, in steak preparation I successfully have set off a bomb of low-dose pepper spray smoke which rapidly permeates the apartment. Laina literally can not breathe. She begins our fire alarm remedy of fanning a towel at the smoke alarm which is incessantly repeating "Fire! Fire!" in its robot voice. She then starts frantically running from bedroom to bedroom, opening and closing every door to possibly quarantine herself but to no prevail. There is no escaping this smoke. I am still at the stove in a calm zone, focused on not ruining the steaks and ignoring the alarms and forcing myself to suppress the urge to cough. Must. Make. Steaks. "Fire! Fire!" that stupid alarm repeats.

After several minutes of this nightmare, we survived our pepper-smoke attack and enjoyed the most delicious (and only) steak I've ever cooked! What a lovely free meal. An appetizer of fresh mozzarella cheese, peppered New York strip steak for the main course, followed by a decadent chocolate dessert of pig candy.

For further reading, please see our new friend at: http://www.jeffreysonessex.com/