the baggage claim game

I remember those golden travel days of yesteryear when I could quickly check in my suitcases, breeze through security sipping my grande nonfat no-whip white chocolate mocha, then I'd buy Cosmo at Hudson News, give the plane a little "trusty plane" good luck tap when boarding (it's tradition) and then enjoy my in-flight meal and watch a movie with the headsets the airline provided. This was the way I traveled back in the good old days of my teenage years.

Now I have to dish out $15-$25 just to check a bag. The airlines are forcing me to pay more than my self tanner and hairspray are worth just so I can travel with them! I have to rid myself of any liquids I may have "accidentally forgotten" in my carry-on bag; I refuse to do the Ziploc bag thing because it just seems so dorky. I have to take off shoes and practically strip naked to get through security, have to use 4 of those stupid white bins to get all the stuff organized correctly for the x-ray machine, by the time I get to the gate I am still readjusting my clothes and can't afford Cosmo anymore. I give the plane my "trusty plane" tap, board the plane and then I begin to starve to death since I now have to pay for anything more than the bag of spicy pretzel mix the flight attendant slams on my middle-seat tray table.

Let's be honest. Flying is awful. It has lost all of its glamour and excitement. Sometimes when going through security I have a daydream that this is me stripping down to enter a concentration camp. Morbid, I know. But it is pretty bad and it will probably continue to get worse. Perhaps they will start charging passengers for the required seat belts or install credit card machines for those passengers wanting to use their overhead lights. 50 cents to use the onboard bathrooms?

But I must say that the absolute WORST thing about traveling is the baggage claim. For paying $25 to check my bags, you'd think some beautiful male model in a captain's suit would personally deliver my suitcases to me but NO. I have to fight to even get a view of the bags which are haphazardly thrown on the carousel. As soon as that orange indicator light goes off, people suddenly go loco. The pushy people crowd around the metal conveyor belt blocking the less aggressive travelers' views and access to retrieve their bags. My after-Christmas baggage claim experience was the worst. Continental, WestJet, Alaska AND JetBlue were all on the same carousel and it was PACKED like 6 people deep just to get a glimpse of the shiny moving metal. I walked around the circle looking for a sparse area and BINGO! I found the perfect spot...or I thought. I failed to realize that a father-son duo was blocking anyone else's view with THREE Smarte Cartes! I couldn't see anything, I couldn't go anywhere, my bags could have gone around 7 times but I was blocked by this idiot Crocs wearing duet. The dad loaded their carts one by one and the son would push them back behind me bumping into everyone apology free. I still could not get any closer to the carousel's edge. Anytime there was 6 inches of space, someone else out of nowhere would swoop in and steal the spot that should have been mine! This always happens to me. I don't understand why people can't stand back a little bit so others can see. Is it a race that no one ever told me about? This man literally put his red Croc foot up onto the ledge of the baggage claim to further block anyone or anything that might come in his way!

Maybe everyone is worried about travel procedures continuing to change for the worse and are afraid that if not claimed quick enough they will be penalized with some sort of "you took too long to get your bag" fee. Who knows. I wouldn't be surprised.