However, these days I find myself becoming a rain wimp. As a New York City perma-pedestrian I always have an umbrella (sometimes two) in my purse because you must be prepared for all weather. As prepared as I might be, I have also become the lame, literal fair-weather friend who cancels plans because of precipitation. But I've come to realize that it's not just me and my reasoning holds some validity.
On the Saturday before Halloween there was a dog costume party scheduled at a nearby dog park and I had to see dogs in costumes, I mean who can pass that up? I checked the website and remembered it saying that if the weather was poor the party would be rescheduled for Sunday. I left my apartment in my hooded jacket and Uggs, raced to the dog park only to find one teensy chihuahua in a pink tutu looking slightly embarrassed with that OMG I thought this was a costume party and it's not look on her face. I came across a crumpled flyer taped to the fence saying something to the effect of "because of scary weather the dog party will be on Sunday." I looked up to see a haze of grey clouds. What's so scary about that? Was there a hurricane or tornado on the horizon? Why is it only me and overdressed chihuahua who are brave enough to be out on this doomed Saturday?
Or a year and a half ago after a date to the movies with the guy I was seeing, we came out of the theater to find torrential downpour. We ran and jumped over the puddles to the nearest bodega to buy an umbrella and with chivalry, he walked me to my train. However, he failed to give me the umbrella for my post 6 train walk home. Now, in in hindsight, I'm not so sure he ever meant to give it to me like he said he did. I got off the train at 86th and Lexington; paused in realization that I was both hoodless and umbrella-less and grudgingly walked to my apartment on 82nd and 1st. For a split second I envisioned myself as Britney Spears in her Stronger video but that daydream quickly vanished once I was aware of my mascara streaming down my cheeks and I was having trouble keeping my pants up. After only a few measly blocks I was so soaked I could have shampooed and conditioned my hair out on the corner of 84th and 3rd.
The other New Yorkers in my midst have the same mentality. When rain is forecast, everyone on the train has their umbrellas in hand ready to pop open at first raindrop. This scares me. My fellow pedestrians, I say to you: Rain is not going to kill YOU, but your umbrella is going to kill ME! More often than not, there is a man who is carrying one of the long cane type umbrellas and he is swinging his arms the normal back and forth way, therefore his umbrella and the pointy tip is swinging back and forth turning into some sort of pendulum torture weapon ready to stab an innocent victim: me. This is especially
scary on stairs. I think it is very important that people do not do this. So much so that I once voluntarily put myself in harm's way and allowed a mild stab so that the umbrella carrier would realize the danger he was creating. I hope he learned his lesson. Even B. Spears, my baldy homegirl's weapon of choice is an umbrella ella ella ey ey! Yikes!The reason I am so obsessed with rain and weather is because it was forecast to snow today and it has been, but it makes me nervous! I have been talking about it since Thursday and I warned my friends that if it snows too much I am going to stay in. I went to a movie and once the closing credits started, I had to fight the urge to run to look out the window to see how much snow accumulated.
My poor-weather bravery I once had as a child has diminished. I hate that I catch myself saying things like "oh, I'm not going to the party. It's supposed to rain." But really, can I be blamed? Who wants to knowingly be umbrella stabbed or have water logged pants that barely stay up or have an overdressed chihuahua?
I cannot be bothered to do ANYTHING if the weather is bad. Therefore, you cannot be blamed. You would think we would be tough-skinned due to our NW upbringing. Nope. Plus, you have to remember that you were riding the bus playing tic-tac-toe on a a nice toasty warm bus, not trekking three miles to school in the torrential downpour. In Seattle it's bearable because the drains work, you have a car and there are no walk-by umbrella stabbings- everyone is wearing a zip-up, waterproof North Face jacket.
ReplyDeleteKeep posting. I love your blog almost as much as I love having you as a roomie.
xo