SAD

My trusty source Wikipedia says:

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter ... They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up.

Checklist: Normal mental health throughout the year? Not sure about that. Sleep too much? Yes. Little Energy? Yup. Sweets? Ummm I've been having a late night love affair and spooning a bag of Tootsie Pops for a week. Yep, I am pretty sure January brings out a little SAD in me. I can't quite figure out why I excitedly ring in each new year only to start hating it 3 days later. January is cold, we're expected to do things "better" in the new year--as in give up sweets and junk food and exercise more. But that's the last thing I want to do. I am still having Halloween and Christmas candy hangovers. Wikipedia says that us SADies will crave sweets and starchy foods. So why are we fighting our instincts?

Speaking of instincts, the animal kingdom knows what's up. You don't see Pooh and Yogi Bear suddenly passing up their junk food guilty pleasures for some stupid mixed greens and low-cal dressing on the side. Nope, in fact, they do the exact opposite and binge to store energy in fatty deposits to survive the winter. This is seriously what I want to do. Pig out on ice cream, cookies, cupcakes, pack it in and then crawl under the covers to sleep the rest of the winter away because bears know that this season is not even worth being conscious for. I'm with you, Teddy Ruxpin!

There is an underlying little pattern of my complaining about weather, I realize that and it's the SAD speaking, I tell you! But it is so dang hard to get out of bed when it's dark out, walk my Vtamin D deficient pale ass to work, wipe the snot icicles from my nose, sit in my cubicle until it gets dark, eat some vegetables, slip on the ice on my way home, get a memo that my building's HOT water will be shut off. Great. This is pathetic. Where's the nearest cave? I hate January. It's not even half over. I'll just be eating Tootsie Pops and peanut butter by the heaping spoonfuls counting down the days until February....