body language schmody language

The movie comes out in just a matter of days, the book has been something I've sworn by for years, but now that I really think about it, the entire concept of He's Just Not That Into You has been kind of a waste of my money! Silly self respecting girls like myself have made Greg Behrendt (the book's author) a very rich man for pointing out all the reasons boys don't treat girls right. I mean, haven't I repeatedly learned that for free in all my dating experiences? It doesn't seem right or fair that a MAN could make large amounts of money just by pointing out the things that boys do to make girls sad.

Maybe somehow it's women's faults. Women have become depicted as these horribly desperate people whose biological clocks are controlling their actions, making them creatures of desperation on a testosterone hunt (example: "I better snag a man before I get cellulite and crows feet.") It's a race against the clock that women are constantly fighting: freezing eggs, liposuction, Botox, etc. These things are used to preserve a woman's youth in the hopes that the men they worked so hard to get won't trade in for a newer model. It makes me sick!

Because of the evident desperation, men see women as a dime a dozen--easy to come by and easy to get. Chivalry is dead. We live in the era of one night stands and speed dating. Women's magazines are filled with articles titled "4 recipes that will seduce him," "What he really wants in bed," "Quiz: Are you in love or forcing it?" There are even full articles about decoding his body language! I am now supposed to read him through his body language to know if he's into me now? "uh oh! He's looking up and to the left! And now tapping his fingers! And now touching his ear and nose! It must be over." What happened to good old fashioned communication? Dating has become way too difficult for me.

In little ways I find myself buying into this though. More often than not, I find myself doing a quick left-hand-ring-finger-glance every time I see a cute looking boy. No ring? Great, I will try to get his attention. It's the maybe he's my future husband thought that creeps through my mind when a (cute and tall) boy gets on my train, opens a door for me (although this is extremely rare), or is standing in line in front of me at a coffee shop. I can't help it and I know I am not alone in this.

This has been a thought of mine for a while, and I have overheard a few conversations between women on the topic. Yesterday I heard two girls talking, "...And it was practically as if he was saying to me 'you're going to be single all your life and die alone. Bye.'" This has even happened to me. Feeling jaded, I am not the happiest and most fun flirter; I actually come off as a huge bitch sometimes. Flirting with a guy last weekend in a bar turned into me being actually kind of mean and him saying to me, "you know, you're never going to get a boyfriend if you act like that." Touché! hahaaha well what makes you think I want one, anyway?

So where does this leave me now, you may be wondering. Well, it leaves me wallowing in the fact that dating sucks. It leaves me still checking out the left hand ring fingers. It leaves me wondering if a cute and tall boy will open a door for me. I am a little more old fashioned than I ever thought I was. It leaves me having even more self respect in that I will never succumb to a one night stand out of desperation for male attention. I am weeding through the ones that are just not that into me and who I was never into in the first place. I will definitely NOT be memorizing the body language decoder! Most importantly, it leaves me deciding whether to see He's Just Not That Into You or My Bloody Valentine as I stuff my face with pistachio cupcakes on Valentine's Day this year.

Not that I encourage this, but... if you really want to know the body language bullshit, check it out: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/body-language/