literally. so cool
I made a way overdue air conditioner purchase yesterday! Walking home from the train on an 84°+ muggier-than-I-can-handle Thursday I felt inspired and spur of the moment. I walked past some shop in Chinatown with appliances in the window. I turned around and went in.
"Hi I need the smallest air conditioner you have."
"what's the square footage of the room?"
"I have no idea. Very small. Look, I need a small AC that I can carry home right now."
---am I really supposed to be able to know square footage of things??---
He brings me a box. I pay for it and walk home. This is awkward and really heavy! My black skinny jeans are soaking up and magnifying the sun's rays! My knee pits are sweating so much! I make it up 3 flights of stairs, almost fall backwards. Jeans are suffocating my legs. must. keep. going. 3 more flights. I unlock the apartment. Holy Hell it must be 110 degrees! I peel off sweat saturated black claustrophobic wetsuit skinny jeans. All clothes come off.
I put the AC together, get it in the window, turn it on. SUCCESS! I am so proud of myself. ouchhh my fingers. Fingers are bleeding. Every finger has little stripy cuts. wtf.
Oh well, I feel proud and independent and handymanish. I make up a little Destiny's Child 'Independent Women' remix in my head.
All the women who are independent
Throw your AC's up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your AC's up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your AC's up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your AC's up at me
I told Dan I had a surprise for him when he comes over. TADAAAA I unveil my surprise.
Dan: "Why didn't you wait for me to help you?"
Me: "Because I felt spontaneous and needed to get one right then."
Dan: "I would've helped you."
Me: "I am able to do things by myself, you know! Gosh!!"
Dan: "Oh yeah?? Look at your fingers."
"Hi I need the smallest air conditioner you have."
"what's the square footage of the room?"
"I have no idea. Very small. Look, I need a small AC that I can carry home right now."
---am I really supposed to be able to know square footage of things??---
He brings me a box. I pay for it and walk home. This is awkward and really heavy! My black skinny jeans are soaking up and magnifying the sun's rays! My knee pits are sweating so much! I make it up 3 flights of stairs, almost fall backwards. Jeans are suffocating my legs. must. keep. going. 3 more flights. I unlock the apartment. Holy Hell it must be 110 degrees! I peel off sweat saturated black claustrophobic wetsuit skinny jeans. All clothes come off.
I put the AC together, get it in the window, turn it on. SUCCESS! I am so proud of myself. ouchhh my fingers. Fingers are bleeding. Every finger has little stripy cuts. wtf.
Oh well, I feel proud and independent and handymanish. I make up a little Destiny's Child 'Independent Women' remix in my head.
All the women who are independent
Throw your AC's up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your AC's up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your AC's up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your AC's up at me
I told Dan I had a surprise for him when he comes over. TADAAAA I unveil my surprise.
Dan: "Why didn't you wait for me to help you?"
Me: "Because I felt spontaneous and needed to get one right then."
Dan: "I would've helped you."
Me: "I am able to do things by myself, you know! Gosh!!"
Dan: "Oh yeah?? Look at your fingers."
...cue my Destiny's Child remix's fade out...
YEAH CUZ...
ReplyDeleteCan you keep up?
Baby boy make me lose my breath!
Up the stairs make me lose my breath!
AND...
I'm a stair climber-WHAT!
Not gonna give up-WHAT!
I'm not gon stop!-WHAT!
I'm gonna work harder!-WHAT!
I'M A SURVIVOR!
Girl, I didn't know you could get COOL like, that!
ReplyDeleteDanny, how your girlfiend build an AC like that?
Ladies leave your man at home.
ReplyDeleteMy room is full of AC and its cool in my apartment I roam.
And all you fellas leave your girls with her friends.
Cause its eleven thirty and my AC's PUMPIN' PUMPIN'!!!